Paranoid

Ever have one of those days where everything gives you the creeps? Okay, maybe it's just me. I am one heck of a twitchy person. If my side so much as aches, I come to the conclusion that I must be diseased. Ridiculous? Maybe so. However, I sure do feel a heck of a lot better when I try every remedy known to man for whatever ailment I diagnose myself with.

Anyway, I had to laugh the other day. It seems that for every art class I have, we get a lecture about how long-term exposure to (enter various chemical/material here) can cause serious health ailments when you're an old fart. In short, due to my growing concern for the aging artists of the world, I have gathered up informative and life-saving suggestions to keep you on your feet.

*ahem*

Drawing Majors - Prevent Chalky Lung
1- Wear a Gas Mask
Now you can use that vat of charcoal dust with liberation!

Painting Majors- Prevent Toxic Blood
1- Wear a Hazmat Suit
Go ahead, paint yourself with cobalt blue!

Printmaking Majors- Prevent Acid-Eaten Skin
1- Wear a Plastic-Wrapped Baking Soda Gear
Spash that nitric acid on your belly!

Metals Majors- Prevent Bloody Lacerations, Ect.
1- Wear a Full Body Titanium Ballistic Suit with Face Shield
Now you can hacksaw your fingers all you want!

Animation Majors- Prevent Hand Cramps
1- Buy That Squishy Padded Thingy for Below your Keyboard
. . . aw man, you guys just suck.